Live at House of Butter

by Tattiana Aqeel

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about

Recorded live at House of Butter, January 19, 2018.

Bonus track for unlimited streaming at
soundcloud.com/tattiana-aqeel/fast-car-cover-live-at-house-of-butter

Please pay more if you can. Sliding scale $12-15 includes Bandcamp's cut. Thank you.

credits

released July 19, 2018

THANK YOU framily,

Arli Christian for House of Butter event space, refreshments, and promotional support.

Asha BOOMclak Santee for live sound and recording, and love.

Album collage art by artist poet Taylor Johnson using pieces from art prints by Elizabeth Catlett, Lois Mailou Jones, and Alma Thomas- all Black women artists who lived and worked in DC.

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all rights reserved

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about

Tattiana Washington, D.C.

Tattiana is a singer-songwriter and food justice advocate from Washington D.C. Tattiana is committed to creating welcoming spaces for gay, queer and other people of color to unify through healing, art, and access to empowering resources. Recordings of her music are on Bandcamp, Souncloud, and YouTube. She makes music, raises cannabis plants, and practices breathing meditations. ... more

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Track Name: Speak to Me - Live at House of Butter
I walk the trepid line to find out where you are
I'd held back for so long, wanting to see the stars
But the stars, they never do fall into my arms like
Raindrops. Suddenly I'm frozen and
When breath begins I live again
And these new wings, I found them far from home
All I've ever known was swept up under me
Rainbows come and go
But it's the last you'll know when walking under sheets

When we went back again I knew I had been written
I was far from where you are. Far from you and your stars
I tried to make it be forever you and me, but baby that's not real
Not for life that I live
I hope that we can see the better of the two
That me should be to me and you should be to you
With all I've flown before my last note is still unwritten

Speak to me, speak to me from the depths of me
The depths of me where it's warm and dark
I can hear a pin drop
Speak to me from deep within I hear voices
My heart it beats and bends, bends like the leaves

However you have come to be
Whoever you have known
Whatever I have grown to be
Wherever seeds I've sown
I will bleed now. Time to be grown up
Whatever life I choose, I choose it with devotion
And finish what I do or else I would be foolish not to know
That what I can create with my own hands is good and I have made it
Along with the friends I've taken

Speak to me, speak to me
I have dreams to be, dreams to be free
While I'm traveling over hills and valleys
In the mountains where the air is sweet
Speak to me. I won't be tied down by the friends I leave
They'll understand when I have to believe
In sudden changes in the wind

Speak to me
Speak to me
Speak to me
Track Name: Oshun - Live at House of Butter
We spend Sunday morning shifting, fitting each other like puzzle pieces
I'm lucky to know your body. I'm in wonder
Have you ever known a place like this before
I would like to know you again and a little more

Respect each other's differences, allow for change in perspectives
Whole and complete, we're not here to combat
You're smarter than me and I'm okay with that

Oh la la la (repeat)

Laughter and lily incense fill our bed. You smell so good
Time stops for us to find our perfect kiss
Have a little more She nudges me to taste
Your love is wind under fluttering. The oranges sweetest made.

Oh la la la (repeat)

Mmmm mmm mmmm dee da dee dum dee da dum dee
Simple and clean you love like liquid light
So naturally my love in you inspires
Have a little more She beckons me to try
Just a little warmth and revelry enough to keep the fire.

Oh la la la (repeat)
Track Name: Trustworthy - Live at House of Butter
Speaking out angry. Goddamnit I lied. Laughing out anger, unsatisfied
You don't know what I don't tell you, but you can't tell what I don't know
No you can't tell what I know, can't tell me what I don't know
Can't fatten me with cruelty. I am not one of your hoes
I am not that woman like the last one you chose
This love was written in my bones, so I demand respect
As you demand to be trusted (repeat)

We made our own bed, we live in it. We've both come so far
So long ago was won. This is what we've earned
Growin' up you learn to keep the promises you make
The promises I can keep, the promises you made to me (repeat)

If we were older I'd take you up my sleeve. If you were me and I was you
Then we would really get to see how much we have in common
What more can we give and take for one another?
Please don't keep me wait- I would wait for you for what feels like forever
(I get high) (repeat)

If we could have another chance I think we'd turn out to be right
If you would just let yourself be Trustworthy
If you can save your love for me and you can learn how to be kind
I will call it gained and I'll prepare myself to be Trustworthy (repeat)

Baby let's try a little bit harder, no let's not let go
I've loved you all this time even when I avoided you
You know that this is love. Please make a sacrifice to show it
Put it on your altar with the things that you most want
Make an offering of peace and put it right beside your father
Tell him I am back to see about the love that I once offered
I could never let it go if you can see me as your equal
Treat me as your friend and you can strengthen your rememberance
Remember me (repeat)

Trustworthy
Track Name: The Doll Test Story - Live at House of Butter
"Some time in 2016, me and my niece, my partner, and my sister were all living together. My niece was 5 at the time. She's a beautiful child, wonderful, little locs, just so cute."

"She was flipping through some kind of doll book with paper dolls in it, and she was pointing out the aspects of the dolls that she liked in the book. She got to the one Black doll in the book- 'cause you know it's usually just one- and was like, 'I don't like her. She's not pretty.' Or she might have said, 'She's ugly.' A positive statement. And we were like, 'Why?' She was like, "Umm she doesn't have any hair.' And I was like, (sigh) 'Fucking Frozen,' [a Disney movie] which we didn't watch in the house, so she definitely got it from school."

"But up to that point I thought that just our regular way of being- her mom has short hair, [we had] mad people come through the house with short hair and different types of hair- I realized in that moment that you have to figure out how to underhandedly teach a child how to love themselves for how they are and how they look."

"I was so distraught over it in that moment. I couldn't chastise her; she doesn't know. She's just getting information from the world. So I wrote this song."
Track Name: Skin - Live at House of Butter
What is the base of beauty seen?
Who then decides the fate?
I never knew another tongue before I knew my own
So to decide another's skin of greater value than my own
Is to forget my mother's name and all of those from whom I came
To break away, break away

I had not taught a guiding word
I just assumed that it would come
To raise a child with sense of pride
The harm of bitter years undone
God please forgive my négligé
I will prepare my future songs
With patience and déterminée
And to survive a wicked world
And break away, break away, break away

What does not grow, it ain't meant to do it
We each are born with cause and rhyme
To try to change what you intuit is to deflect your natural time
What does not grow- it ain't meant to do it
We each are born with cause and rhyme
To try to change what you intuit is to depress your natural high

How little of myself I knew before I went to try and change
To fit the mold of chosen few- it causes everlasting pain
The market model of success is to convince 'em you're a star
The curse of starving to impress is never knowing how
Beautiful you are
Break away, break away, break away (repeat)
Track Name: Obsesión - Live at House of Butter
En español:
Me dejaste abierta
No tengo pertenencias
Todo fue arrebatado
El día que me conquistaste

Me quede vacía
Y asi segui a la deriva
Pensé que sabría el final
Pensé que sabría quando

Una obsesión (4x)

Me dejaste abierta
No tengo pertenencias
Todo lo que eras
Se fundió en mi

Ya lo perdí
Con que me quedaré para seguir luchando
Y tu ya ganaste

Mi obsesión (4x)
Una obsesión (4x)


In English:
You left me open
I had to belongings
All was taken
The day I let you in (you conquered me)

I was emptied
And so we kept a' sailing
Thought I knew the end
Thought I could see when

An obsession (4x)

You left me open
I had no beginnings (no belongings)
All that was you
Became of me too

I had lost
What(the) will I had left to fight within.
And you had won

My obsession (4x)
An obsession (4x)
Track Name: Move Me - Live at House of Butter
Check me once chil' and check me again with those pretty hands
Knew your pretty smile before I could taste your pretty skin
Here's to making me wait so patiently
Before you dropped down and landed on my plate

You move me softly, slowly to believin' baby
You move me softly, slowly to believin'
Oh. O you move me.

Checked up, checked down. I'm feelin' you now- where to begin?
This is different than any of the places I've been in
How you feel, how your body curves into mine
I'm giving you my reward for waiting, taking time

You move me gently, easy to receiving baby
I'm humbly kneeling halfway to your feet now baby
Oh. O you move me.
Oh.

I wanna eat you up and not spit you out (repeat)

Leap up, leap in. The water is fine- I'm swimming in
Keep up, keeping the rhythm and time. I'm lovin' it
I think I've known you before. Glad you're back again
You've got the perfect timing my golden friend

Mmm meet me, take me back to the beginning baby
I'm flying, spiraling, coming to your senses baby
Oh. O you move me.
Track Name: What Is Love - Live at House of Butter
If you are stiffing, I wouldn't mind
Just be yourself and I'm gonna ride
If you are quiet, I won't tell on you
I am required, to the grave

You stayed with me all this time, All of it
You're in my body and my mind
I don't know why I understand
All of this time, you make me feel like a man

What is love (repeat)
What is patience
What is love

Responsibility- I take mine accordingly
While you run, while you run, while you run, while you run, while you run 'Round town
Could it be your love doin' that dirt
Spinning
Does it make, does it make, does it make, does it make you feel
More like a man

What is love (don't say, don't run) (repeat)
What is patience (don't say, don't run)
What is love

What is love
What is truth
What is patience
What is it to you
Track Name: Come Back Home - Live at House of Butter
I left the country yesterday. I have the privilege to return unscathed
But I have friends who cannot leave and come back home
I thought I'd change my rhythm here
I'd have a break from pain of loss and fear
O but my love is over there, she can't come back home
Come back home

Black and Brown stand tall
A mighty tree that can't fall
O how I wish it could be over now so you can
Come back home (repeat)

I put my fists up in the air and use my feet to march and rally there
O but my body's still abused by those who claim this home
And call it hope

Black and Brown stand tall
A mighty tree that can't fall
O how I wish it could be over now so you can
Come back home (repeat)

I gather help from family and ask my ancestors to protect me
Their mighty struggle is not won, God rest their souls
I have a hope I cannot lose
Though we are wary and our strengths misused
Who breaks or paves the road ahead for us to call this home
And make our own

Black and Brown stand tall
A mighty tree that can't fall
O how I wish it could be over now so you can
Come back home (repeat)
Track Name: DROP - Live at House of Butter
Mmhmn tell me whatchu want mmhmn
Mmhmn shawty whatchu want mmhmn
I wanna give it to you- pack light, know for sure it's alright
Put up your hands, pants low, sliding down your waist I go
Yeah I like what you want mmhmn

'Cause if only a second longer
If only a minute
Only an hour more
A day
I'll wait, as long as you want, I'll wait

Mmhmn tell me whatchu want mmhmn
Mmhmn show me whatchu want mmhmn
Your instincts are secure, on point like they should-
Every minute made to last, words that make my body dance
Yeah I like what you want mmhmn

Well aren't we made to last
Are we headed there fast
I stay wrapped up inside of your love
Making memories of how you wanna be touched

(break)

Well aren't we made to last
Are we headed there fast
You stay wrapped up by these big hands
That remember how to get you wet
I will gladly stick to your tune
I will obey your every move
You can trap me, you're the only one
I will stay, as long as I can make you come with me
Track Name: Beseech Your Love - Live at House of Butter
I think yeah I need your love
Got a long life to live
Here to stay and beseech your love
Send the one before me here
oh oh oh oh
mmmmmm

Turn away, I don't need your love
See me grow and carry it
Have my hands out offering love
Need a mind to conquer it
Strong words keep me still
Bubbling up their will
Mmmmmm

Is a way to heal my love
In the morning with sunrise
Here to stay and beseech my love
As we watch the curtain rise
oh oh oh oh
mmmmmm
Track Name: One Whole - Live at House of Butter
What's got the heart of a woman
The mind of guru
The soul of a very best friend
You are the voice of the ocean
Beating vibration
Feeling deeply rooted in the Earth

We are (repeat)

What is the being of laughter
Creation of song
Meeting ever-after, this one
I am the passion from dreaming
The courage awakened
The dance at the center of the drum

We are (repeat)

One mind, one heart, one race, one song
One life, one love, one people, one drum
One whole, one world, one spirit, one seed, we are
(repeat)

We are the seeds of one (repeat)

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